Follow-up Friday: Toasters, hair dryers, and the view from here

I'm proud of A Hair-Dryer Kid in a Toaster-Brained World. I was proud of it in 2010 and I'm proud of it now. The real-life presentation had a synergistic energy—the right message to the right people at the right time. And based on the feedback the post got (and is getting right now—thank you for that), it translated well to the written page.

So, yes. I'm glad I wrote it. I'm glad I presented it. I'm glad I posted it.

But.

When I gave that presentation back in 2010, I forgot—or, maybe, I did not yet understand—the most basic premise of disability rights: Nothing about us without us.

In retrospect, from my 2022 vantage point, it breaks my heart that I didn't find a way to include Bud in the presentation to his classmates. I didn't give him the option to participate. I didn't tell him what I was planning. I didn't give him the option to say "I don't want you to do that." And I really, really wish I had.

Shortly after I met with his classmates, I did tell Bud about it. He didn't care—but that's not the point. He might have cared, and he should have had an abundance of options before I spoke a single word.

There are two things that I remind myself when I think about it now. The first is that I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. I have different insight now, but I am giving 2010-me a break for not having the perspective that 2022-me has.

The second is something I learned from Maya Angelou: "When you know better, you do better." 

I know better now. And I'm doing my darnedest to do the best I can.

Image is a card with four illustrated panels showing the stages of a flower blooming. The caption reads "I trust my growth process." It is from a set of affirmation cards designed and drawn by Indigo Lotus Art on Etsy.